In the 1960s, my Dad was involved in the
electric Mini project. It was in the end a bit of a failure. The electric drive
and battery systems worked just fine but in the end the poor realization of the
automotive engineering let it down but I’m sure things are very different now.
A lot of time has past after all and billions have been spent…
I finally got behind the rather large and
American friendly wheel of the Tesla model S the other weekend. My partner
insisted that I stop rabbiting on about one and actually drive the darn thing.
We were at the London Docklands motor show and I thought “why not, the
economics sort of stack up so I should actually drive it”.
I have been trying to crystalize my
thoughts on the Tesla S. It’s a confusing car. It’s sort of part techno curio,
part American cruiser and part F22 Raptor fighter jet.
A star for the tech. It's deeply deeply
impressive. All the systems seem to be upgradable over the air. Self park and
self drive appear to be in Beta at the moment and once they are released,
owners will get them as a Flash-over-the –air upgrade. For a telematics guru like
me, this is manna from heaven.
And it goes well. I mean Porsche 991 Turbo
S levels of acceleration. And lets remember that this was the 85D model, the
P85 D model has about 30% more umph. The
website says 0-62 in 4.4s. I would say it’s every bit as fast as that.
And now for the downside. Steering feel. What
steering feel? Even on the sportiest setting, it’s utterly anodyne think 2003 Mercedes C class and you’re close!
And then there’s the column shift. I hate
hate hate having the gear shifter (such as it is on an EV) on the steering column.
That’s a granny car thing to have. Why not have cool crystal buttons on the
dash like the Aston DB 9 has?
Oh and for a car that is a rival to an Audi
A8 – why is their no space in the back? I am 5’ 11’’ and there is no way an
adult can comfortably sit behind me.
If you hate having to clear out side bins
and storage lockers in the back seat then the good news is that there aren’t
any. Nothing, nada nitto. Presumably such items need to be stored on the floor?
Apparently Elon likes minimalism which means we get an impractical car.
All this vexes me. You see I really wanted
to love the Tesla. These flaws cannot be written off. If it was a Ferrari 488
GTB rival or something to buy instead of an Aventador then I would forgive all
sorts of design poops for a truly unique driving experience. Hyper cars are
allowed to be awkward and silly. Executive saloons cannot.
The Model S has to go toe to toe with the
Audi A8, Jaguar XJ, Mercedes S class and the BMW 7 series and it can’t really because
they are all better cars. The Audi especially wins because it has a brand built
on cleverness and efficiency. It’s cleverer and more efficient than the Tesla.
So in the end it’s the silly old automotive
engineering that lets the Tesla Model S down. You see, the big OEMs have been
making cars for a very long time. They have metrics and tests for every kind of
vehicle behavior and characteristic. Sometimes they make a dull car but at this
level they do not.
…And don’t get me started on how you
actually charge the thing if you live in rural Essex!
So I won't have a Tesla in my driveway just yet. But we will still be together. Forever in electric dreams
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