Goodbye Lisa

It’s funny what the winter does to you isn’t it?

I hadn’t driven the lotus for about 4 months and had almost forgotten about it. Then a pal of mine said that he wanted to sell his Aston Vantage Roadster. I never really considered myself an Aston driver. I always thought they were all show and no go. BUT I asked how much he wanted for ‘Jess’ and we did a deal.

I didn’t really expect that to happen – I was still thinking about getting a 996 GT3 (too pricey now) and had even thought about getting another 996 turbo.

So I had to find a buyer for Lisa. Barry the Lotus man came to my rescue (yet again) and sold my car for me really quickly.

I have to say that I am really ambivalent about the S190. Mine needed a fair amount of sorting out and to be fair, when I bought mine, no one was spending money on making Elise S1s nice so I won’t be the only one spending money on an S190 or S160. On a quiet B road (like the ones where I live), It was simply ballistic. I loved it so much. BUT on a long run, it left my deaf, stinking of gas and with back ache. As I drove Jess away from Barry’s workshop I was thinking about the lovely late model Europa he had for sale. I need medication for this.

Anyway as the ‘stones said: “…I used to love her, but it’s all over now”

Here’s a photo of Jess to make up for it…

Goodwood is Finally Glorious

After my crappy experience at Snetters which was largely the fault of the car but I also blame the trackday people for organizing an event full of male-chest-beating snot rags, I am very glad to report that I had an ace event at the GRRC members track day in October.

The weather was fine. I fuelled up at the night before (I was staying with my Mum and Dad in Emsworth). I left the house at 7:30 and crept stealthily away in my virtually full-race S190 before the rest of gentle Emsworth had ‘come-to’.

First of all  - the noise test. Yeh, passed that. 102 dB I think. Easy peasy.

I decided to use my feminine charms and ask a friendly instructor for a few helpful laps before I made I complete womble of myself in front of all the boys. It was easy to be a womble because the other cars in my group comprised a Golf R32, Porsche 994 C4s, Ferrari 360, Nissan GTR running about 750 hp and finally an Aston Vantage V12 (which is a girls car).

Anyway I got blown away by the fast cars for about the first 3 sessions and then something clicked. I got the instructor out again and this time we were getting quick. No one overtook me (I went out half way along the line up).

The final session of the morning was epic. I went out behind a gorgeous race Ferrari 250 GT and tried like mad to keep up (I couldn’t). 3 laps later I got overtaken by the 997 at no-name and then ‘did’ him back at Lavant (me likey lavant). I overtook 4 cars on that session including a lightweight E type so I was very happy indeed. I’m getting to like track days, especially when they are more Ferrari than ‘Fast and Furious’

I still think that there are nowhere near enough girls at track days and certainly not many girls who bring their own cars….this must change!

Lots of Trouble Usually Serious

Dear Reader.

I know it's been a long old time since I last posted. I'll say a dozen 'hail Maseratis' when I get the chance. So this an adventure that I had last year with Lisa the Lotus but failed to post...

So it's strike two against the Lotus:

Last time (at Goodwood) the car was too damn loud to go on the track.
So we fixed that noisy race exhaust (£££).

Today (at Snetterton) for 18 glorious laps the car ran like a dream.
Only a 911 turbo (which was rather galling) and a full race honda
(driven by a robber of some kind) got passed me. Everyone else got
dropped behind.

I don't think my performance was too badly deteriorated by the 80
kilos of expert race instructor sitting in the passenger seat;-)

And then at the end of the 1st full session, i decided that I could do
with some more gas. So I drove the 150 meters from the pit to the fuel
station.... And the bloody thing wet itself all over the car park.
Very large green puddles of coolant. Got helpful comments from lots of
fold too!

I took the car to the trackside workshop but no use. The very posh
mechanic started looking for the radiator leek in the engine bay.
That's a bit of a worry in a mid-engine car. I then showed him where
the rad was and suggested that the hose that had 'popped off' could be
the cause of the leak. He sucked his teeth and finally agreed with me
but said that the whole of the front of the car would have to be
removed to fixed it (not true but just shows you what you get told).

So it was a call to green flag who asked me (among other daft things)
if my car was a 4x4. I was NOT sarcastic at all. Fortunately, someone
in the green flag office must have known something about cars because
I got a call back about 10 minutes later saying that they would send a
special truck because I have a 'Low Sportscar'. No Sh1t Shurlok..!

After a 2.5 hour trip in the recovery truck with an extra from the
'Village People', I have decided to count my blessings. I didn't crash
the car, the engine didn't blow, I didn't turn the oil into metallic
paint and its really is a very sunny day for the time of year.

Lisa the lotus is now back in the workshop, making Barry-the-lotus man
slightly richer and I'm taking the bus home.

I swing from hating that car for having ikea like build quality, for
being more uncomfortable than a bus shelter and for not being a
Porsche, to feeling very protective towards it.

Still, they took some great shots of me out on the track, so that's
something to smile about.


At moments like this I can't help but wonder, what would Jimmy Buffet do?