Lots of Trouble Usually Serious

Dear Reader.

I know it's been a long old time since I last posted. I'll say a dozen 'hail Maseratis' when I get the chance. So this an adventure that I had last year with Lisa the Lotus but failed to post...

So it's strike two against the Lotus:

Last time (at Goodwood) the car was too damn loud to go on the track.
So we fixed that noisy race exhaust (£££).

Today (at Snetterton) for 18 glorious laps the car ran like a dream.
Only a 911 turbo (which was rather galling) and a full race honda
(driven by a robber of some kind) got passed me. Everyone else got
dropped behind.

I don't think my performance was too badly deteriorated by the 80
kilos of expert race instructor sitting in the passenger seat;-)

And then at the end of the 1st full session, i decided that I could do
with some more gas. So I drove the 150 meters from the pit to the fuel
station.... And the bloody thing wet itself all over the car park.
Very large green puddles of coolant. Got helpful comments from lots of
fold too!

I took the car to the trackside workshop but no use. The very posh
mechanic started looking for the radiator leek in the engine bay.
That's a bit of a worry in a mid-engine car. I then showed him where
the rad was and suggested that the hose that had 'popped off' could be
the cause of the leak. He sucked his teeth and finally agreed with me
but said that the whole of the front of the car would have to be
removed to fixed it (not true but just shows you what you get told).

So it was a call to green flag who asked me (among other daft things)
if my car was a 4x4. I was NOT sarcastic at all. Fortunately, someone
in the green flag office must have known something about cars because
I got a call back about 10 minutes later saying that they would send a
special truck because I have a 'Low Sportscar'. No Sh1t Shurlok..!

After a 2.5 hour trip in the recovery truck with an extra from the
'Village People', I have decided to count my blessings. I didn't crash
the car, the engine didn't blow, I didn't turn the oil into metallic
paint and its really is a very sunny day for the time of year.

Lisa the lotus is now back in the workshop, making Barry-the-lotus man
slightly richer and I'm taking the bus home.

I swing from hating that car for having ikea like build quality, for
being more uncomfortable than a bus shelter and for not being a
Porsche, to feeling very protective towards it.

Still, they took some great shots of me out on the track, so that's
something to smile about.


At moments like this I can't help but wonder, what would Jimmy Buffet do?